This blog is simply the story about my little life
with my sweet family that the Lord has blessed me with
and the day in, day out things that we do.
It basically is my online diary/photo album of our life.
I'm glad you're here!

Monday, May 8, 2017

After Daddy died...

On January 22, 2017 we had a lovely memorial service for my mother and within a week and a half my father would fall ill and pass away. You can probably imagine my incredible grief. You can read about my Mamma's passing here and read about Daddy's passing here.

I promise I will not continue to go on and on about this subject, but my life has been turned upside down and blogging about my loss has been very cathartic for me.

Today I wanted to talk about what I did the week after my father died. I am so thankful for the love and support of my family and friends, especially my husband for watching over and taking care of me, and of course my heavenly Father who always holds me in His hand.
This is the last photo of my with my father. He was in a very deep sleep and after I said goodbye and went home that evening, he would pass on to heaven an hour and a half later. I was devastated by the news. I wanted to so badly to be there when he died, but it was not to be. I was so torn up about not being there, I could not stand the thought of him dying alone. I had such guilt.  My sister, Kelli, went to the hospital and saw him right after he passed and said he looked peaceful. She also found out that there was a sweet nurse who was with him holding his hand as he passed. This made me feel better, but still, I could hardly sleep.
The next day my sister, Kathi, and her daughter, Victoria, and I met at the mortuary to see our beloved father. This was very good for me. I could see for myself that his spirit was gone and he had such a peaceful expression on his face. He is now with the Lord in heaven and also with my mother and all the other believers who have passed on. I felt like I had closure.
After that we went to Daddy's assisted living facility and cleaned out his room. I cried when I walked in. It was so very sad to go into that place and know that Mommy and Daddy are no longer there. It was good, however, to see the other residents and the girls who work there once again and give them hugs.
As our Daddy raised us, we always try and have some sort of fun at all gatherings, so after our solemn task of seeing him at the mortuary and cleaning out his room, we decided to go out to lunch. We ate at one of Mamma and Daddy's favorite places and had a bean burrito toast in honor of Daddy.
After that we went thrifting.  We did have fun, but our hearts were hurting. You can see the stress in my face as well as my sister's.
That night my hubby took me out to dinner.
The next day these beautiful flowers arrived from my dear co-worker, Lora.
Then we received this beautiful arrangement from my husband's brother and his wife from back east. Cards of sympathy and condolences started flooding in, which were all so comforting to me. We received phone calls and texts as well and also so many people on Facebook were very kind and were lifting our family up in prayer.
On Sunday morning we went to church and I brought my Daddy's Bible with me.
I wore his watch and read from his Bible. The service was very comforting.
We also had communion. I am so thankful for Jesus for what He did for me. I am so thankful that I know both of my parents are in heaven because they invited Jesus into their hearts and they strived to live a life for Him.
Sunday night the family came over for dinner. This is the best medicine for me!
My sweet Ridley painting me a lovely picture because he was thinking of me at this sad time.
The next morning Eric and I went to town to get some breakfast. They had this mind puzzle which reminded me of Daddy. He had one that my grandfather made and he played it a lot in the mornings with breakfast when I was growing up (I actually have my Dad's puzzle now).
My cell phone was starting to die, so after breakfast we went to the phone store and I got a new pink iPhone 7 plus. I have never had one and I love it. My old phone was a Samsung that I had for three years.
I had the whole week off. I laid around a lot and completely went off my diet. I was soothing myself with junk food, TV, and wine. I watched a ton of Hallmark movies and also took naps.
On Wednesday I got to watch my little peanut.
We stopped by the mortuary to pick up my father's ashes. Oh wow, this was difficult, but I'm thankful I had my little Ridley with me (he of course did not know what I was doing). This was a circle of life moment.
I placed Daddy's ashes in the guest room beside his picture.
My husband had the week off as well and he said on Thursday he wanted to give me a special day because of everything I've gone through. I'm so lucky he's my guy. He knows I'm heartbroken and he's watching me close. I love that he planned this whole day for me. I love him so much!
We headed up to the mountains because he wanted to show me where he has been working.
It's breathtaking up here!
When we got to the top he contacted the loggers up at the top of the hill.
He is a timber faller and he cut this unit along with some cutters he hired. The logging company is in the process of logging the cut trees out to take them to the mill.
It's such hard, dangerous work. My husband is a stud.
Here's a pile of logs that he cut. They are waiting on the landing for the log truck to come and take them to the mill.
Don't worry, trees are a renewable resource. Here's a unit that he cut 4 years ago that has been replanted, you can see the new growth trees in the foreground. In 10 more years they will be very large.
I found this heart-shaped rock up in the woods and brought it home for my collection. I will always remember my Daddy when I see it and also my sweet husband for taking such good care of me at this difficult time.
After that he took me to a really neat restaurant up in the woods. We read my Daddy's Bible while we were waiting for the food. We talked so much about Daddy. Eric was very fond of my father.
Mmmm! It was delicious. I am totally off my diet at this point and I don't care. They don't call it comfort food for nothing.
We kept driving higher into the mountains where it was snowing!
He took me to one of our favorite get-away spots. The hot springs pool!
Oh my gosh, this is what my body needed!
So relaxing and fun!
And romantic too!
After that he took me shopping and we both got new Romeo boots!
Then we went out to Olive Garden for dinner! Yummmy!
Then we headed home at dusk.
The next day we hung out around our property. Here we are both wearing our new boots.
That night we went out to dinner with Eric's father, Jim. Which was really nice. Jim knew my parents very well and he is heartbroken too.
The next morning I had to get back to work. This was my view as I walked in. It's an absolutely gorgeous morning.
I took several photos and some turned out dark like this. I really like both versions! I love the camera on my new phone.
I kinda didn't want to go to work, but I also know that routine is good for us. I love my job and it really was good to be back.
My co-workers gave these beautiful flowers to me. People were so kind to me.
On Thursday after work I met my sisters at our parent's old assisted living facility because they were having a Valentine's party. It was bittersweet to be there again and see our parent's room without them in it. We enjoyed seeing the  staff, the other residents and their families.

My sister, Kelli,  had my mother's ashes and I asked if she would give them to me so that Mom and Dad's ashes would be together. She brought them to the party and afterwards gave them to me. It was special because all three of us girls jumped in Kelli's van to talk deeply about our loss. When I got home I set the ashes side by side in the guest room along with their picture and texted it to my siblings saying, "Together again. Together forever".
Oh how I miss this man. My heart is full of emotions ~ pain, sadness, loneliness, stress, heartbreak, grief. I have been praying and reading my Bible and I do feel the Lord's presence and His comfort. I know that I will see both of my parents again in heaven, but until then, I need to work through my emotions, rest, take care of myself, be thankful for my blessings and also get back to living.

"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4


jen said...

I am so very sorry for your losses-
What an amazing faoyou have to walk beside you in this difficult time-
you and your family are in my prayers

Shan said...

Dearest Sharon,

I am so grateful that you are sharing these moments with us. What a lovely example of Christ's love in these posts!

I hope that as time passes you will find are an amazing person, and a wonderful daughter, wife and mother. Never doubt that, let it bring you comfort.

Sending you blessings,

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