This blog is simply the story about my little life
with my sweet family that the Lord has blessed me with
and the day in, day out things that we do.
It basically is my online diary/photo album of our life.
I'm glad you're here!

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Can't sleep...

 It's 2:17 am and I'm in my kitchen taking photos for my blog.


Insomnia is a new thing for me. It started about 3 years ago and I HATE it!
 It can start at any time of the night, but usually starts about midnight or 1:00 am with me stirring and rolling over. Then the brain starts up and the mind starts racing. Thoughts pop into my mind. I start thinking and then my thinking leads to worry and worry leads to fear. It's usually about my children. I immediately start praying. I continue to lay there wide awake. I try to make myself think happy thoughts and I start thanking God for all of my blessings, but alas, I lay there wide awake. I tell myself to stop thinking, relax, go back to sleep, but sleep wont come. I fight this battle for about an hour and then I finally get out of bed.
 I head to the kitchen and get a glass of milk.
Sometimes I read my Bible, sometimes I get on the computer and look at my photos, Facebook or Pinterest, sometimes I read a book and sometimes I get on my knees and pray. On this particular night I started reading a new book called, "Having a Mary heart in a Martha World"
 Sometimes I take a 1/4 dose of Tylenol PM (the bottle says to take two pills and I take half of one). I don't like to take it in the middle of the night in fear of being too sleepy and groggy in the morning, but this particular night I felt like I needed to take it.

Having insomnia is very unpleasant and it leads to fear of having it again the next night. My pattern is that I have one sleepless night, so then the next night I take 1/4 dose of the sleep med and I will take it for several days in a row until I think I will sleep again. During the stress I have been under the past three years, I believe I took the sleep med every night for a good solid year. I am happy that I have cut back to just randomly taking it.
I have researched insomnia and it does go hand in hand with menopause, and the timing for it would be accurate in my case (starting 3 years ago). However, I do know the root of a lot of my sleepless nights is worry for my sons, my daughter-in-laws and my grandson.  I know worrying is wrong. Worrying means I am not trusting God. My kids are God's children and I know He has a plan for them, but these worries sneak up on me in the middle of the night and wake me up.
I actually have placed comforting scriptures of God's promises by my bed to help me.
 "For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not! I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." II Timothy 1:7

"Cast all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you." I Peter 5:7
 I also believe that sometimes God wakes me up just so that I will pray for my loved ones. Sometimes the urge is so strong that I feel like it can be spiritual battle and I want to be obedient and pray for the person/situation that God has placed on my heart.
 Tonight I prayed and read some of my book. This is a good book. I want to love Jesus like Mary did and be at His feet listening to His teachings with a humble and sincere heart.
 Well, I finished my milk and I'm getting drowsy.
It's only 2:41, so if I can get to sleep now, I will still get 3 more hours of sleep before the alarm goes off. I'm going back to bed. Goodnight!

"When thy liest down, though shalt not be afraid; ye shall lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet." Proverbs 3:24
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