|My true love and I back in 1987 river camping.|
Today is our 32nd wedding anniversary! I snuck a little note in Eric's lunch box this morning telling him that all these years later I would still say yes. I love him and am so very thankful for him.
If you ask us what our secret is I think this is what I would say.
1. God! He has kept us together and blessed us and given us strength. We would not be celebrating today with out the Lord in our lives, I really believe that.
2. Commitment. No matter what comes our way, we have always been committed and knew we were in it for the long haul.
3. Forgiveness (and no it wasn't always instant!). I should mention that we are that kind of couple who has "cat fights". I'm not proud of it, but we do bicker. I used to feel so ashamed that my hubby and I did this because my parents did not. Then I found comfort when I remembered how my grandmother Ethel and grandfather Harry used to bicker all the time and they lasted over 50 years!!! I think each couple is different in this department and that is just the way we are. We bicker much less than we used to, thankfully, but we still do. I think it is our way of both being free to express our feelings. The good news is that we do communicate. We have learned to communicate better than we did in the beginning and we have learned that we prefer to be in a place of peace rather than war and we apologize and forgive each other much quicker than we used to.
4. Tolerance and understanding. Nobody's perfect and you absolutely have to take the bad with the good.
5. Humor. I have a very quick and witty sense of humor and I used to desire that my husband's humor matched mine. Don't get me wrong, my husband is actually very funny too, but not "on" all the time like I am. Over time I realized that I am thankful that he is more the "straight" man with the humor because otherwise I think it would get old and exhausting. If you look at any successful comedy teams in the past, they have always had the funny one and the straight man and it really is a recipe for success. We like to get silly and I can say we probably laugh at least once together every single day.
6. Our kids.
7. Doing acts of love and kindness for one another.
8. Date nights.
9. Chemistry. We still flirt all the time and it's super fun.
10. And of course we can't forget love!!! Although, I must admit, over a 32 year period there were seasons when each of us doubted our love, but I praise God it was just a season!
Of course there are many other things, but these are some of the top. No, we don't have a perfect marriage, but it's perfect for us and it works for us and we actually both keep working at it all the time. I think having some of these qualities and character traits are really important because if you go through a rough patch and lose one or two, the others will hold you together through that rough patch.
I can honestly say that my husband is my best friend, but I didn't use to feel that way. People would say that about their spouse and I didn't understand it. Eric was my husband and I loved him and he was a good friend, but I felt like I got my best friend stuff from my girlfriends and sisters, you know, those wonderful girl talks where you get inspiration and encouragement about being a wife and mother and also other subjects like decorating, cooking, exercise, etc. But as the years have gone by, my husband has truly become my best friend. He is the one who I can absolutely trust with every secret thought I've ever had, he is there for me, he understands me warts and all, he's seen me at my best and at my worst and is still there for me. He protects and defends me. We have this common bond of our commitment to our marriage and family. We go to church together, read God's word together (not all the time though) and we pray together. We work hard together and we play and relax together. We are really enjoying this new season in our life of owning a farm and working on it all the time together, it has been wonderful to spend so much time with my man!
I am truly blessed to be married to this wonderful man who is my rock.
"He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said,’Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:4-6